One Year...

One year has passed since I saw my big brother.

One year ago today, he died due to the neglegence of a hospital that was more concerned with their policies than the care of a human being.

One year ago today my brother had outpatient surgery and stopped breathing in the car on the way home.

One year ago, my two nieces had to rush their dad back to the hospital, only to be told that they had to wait for an ambulance to bring him into the ER.

Seriously.

One year ago, my nieces and a security guard had to perform CPR until EMS arrived because the doctors and nurses had to follow hospital protocol. They reluctantly watched as my brother died in the parking lot.

One year ago, I lost my only brother. My friend.

Life can be such a kick in the ass sometimes.






I miss you, Richie. Give Mom and Dad a hug for me, k? ♥

Moments

There are many moments in my life that I hold dear and there are other moments that I consider to be utterly sacred. The dear moments are those that are etched into my heart. Like the times when someone went out of their way to do something special for me. Times when I laughed so hard I cried. Times that made me stand back and say, "Wow, that was amazing."

One of those such moments was my 17th birthday. I don't know why that day popped into my head today since my birthday's not until October, but it did.

It was an ordinary day and I was a senior in high school. I can't remember the specifics of the morning except the fact that my parents appeared to have forgotten that it was my birthday. I sat at the kitchen table in awe. How in the heck could my own parents forget my freakin' birthday?! I hopped into my '81 Cutlass Supreme and drove the mile to school in a huff.

When I got to school, I was greeted with birthday wishes from my closest friends in the hall. My mood brightened a bit. Until.....I was late for first hour and received the first (and only) detention of my high school career. To say that I was ticked off would be an understatement.

The school day for seniors ended sometime around 1:30 and I couldn't wait to get out of there. Knowing me and my hot temper, I'm sure I was planning to give my parents a piece of my mind when I got home. All of that was forgotten the second I opened my car door. Tucked lovingly into one of the openings in my steering wheel was a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a small, clear ornament that held a tiny teddy bear inside.

I can't tell you what kind of flowers they were -most likely carnations since they were my favorite - but I still have the little teddy bear in the plastic ornament. I only wish I could find the card that was attached because I remember it saying something like, "How could we ever forget our baby's birthday?" (No matter my age, I will always be "the baby" of the family.)

That was my mom. All day long I had felt like Samantha Baker in Sixteen Candles...except my mom really didn't forget my birthday. She had probably been planning this for days and I know it had to kill her not to sing Happy Birthday to me the moment I woke up.

Gosh, I miss hearing mom sing to me on my birthday.

Attempt at blogging - take 2

I've made an effort to add to my blog several times over the past eight months but could never get past the intimidation of the blank screen staring back at me. Where do I start? What should I say? Will anyone care? I finally decided that I care because a blog is a great place to sort out all of your thoughts and ideas. The weird part about blogging for me is the thought that other people, people I don't even know, might actually read it. Yikes.

In my initial post, I said that I'd be back to tell you a bit about myself. Well, I lied. Instead, I decided to add the boring stuff to my profile over there on the right. That way you can read it if you're interested or skip it if you're not. I still plan on talking about my life but I'm just skipping over the singles' ad-type info (ie: Married, white, SAHM who lives for laundry, packing lunches, washing windows, swiffering up dog hair ten times a day....) Ok, I lied. You can find all of that info on a nifty little list over there on the right.