40 Used to Seem So Old

As I draw nearer to that milestone of turning 40, I am reminded of days when I used to dread ever being that (ahem) old! Lately I've been attending birthday parties of high school friends who are also turning 40 this year and somehow it no longer seems so daunting. I figure if I can still stay awake past 9:00 and shake what my mama gave me without breaking a hip, I must be doing ok.

Last week I had the privilege of surprising my friend Andrea at her 40th celebration. I've known Ann since 6th grade but have only seen her a handful of times in the past few years, due to "life" getting in the way. Considering that we grew up directly around the block from each other (we used to cut thru my neighbor's woods to get to each others' houses), it's really sad that we hardly see each other anymore. Luckily Ann is one of those friends who makes it easy to pick up right where we left off. She's also one of those friends with whom I share a million memories with so we never run out of things to talk about. There's also no shortage of inside jokes when we get together. Number one being the boyfriend that we shared, who later became Ann's husband and is now her ex-husband. He just sent me a friend request on Facebook. I couldn't hit that "ignore" button fast enough...after giggling at his balding head of course.

Here's a picture of Ann and me on her birthday...


Not bad for two old ladies, eh?

A Friend Named Ellen

It's been a nostalgic week around here. Last week, I began a search for old family photos so I could share them with my cousins on Facebook. That sparked a week-long retrospective of my life. I don't know if it's because I'm turning 40 this year or because I've recently reconnected with some old friends and relatives. Maybe it's because certain places that bring up memories of my childhood are now gone...the school I went to for 12 years, the mall I hung out at every weekend with my friends, my childhood home. Actually, my parents' house is still standing and well taken care of but mom and dad are no longer there so the house might as well be gone.

My walk down memory lane also has me missing special people, even moreso than usual. Easter is just around the corner so it's understandable that I would be missing my mom a little more fiercely - the holidays were just her thing and they'll never be the same without her - but lately I've been thinking about other people from my past who are now gone.

My friend Ellen has creeped into my thoughts quite a bit. Ellen was one of my closest friends in grade school and she died tragically in 1996 during a scuba diving trip at Whitefish Pointe on Lake Superior. Ellen's funeral was the first time I had seen her in probably ten years or more. We lost touch after she went to an all-girls high school and I stayed at St. Agatha. Why is it that we let important people slip out of our lives?

Ellen was one of those sweet girls who never had a bad thing to say about anyone. She had a quiet, uplifting spirit and a gentle heart, much like her parents who were good Christian people with strong family values. They had five children and all of their names started with "E"...Evonne, Ellen, Eric, Erin and Eddie. I remember when Eddie was born; I was so excited but a little disappointed that he was a boy:) They were a close-knit family, much like my own, so I'm sure that's why I felt so at home with them.

Ellen and I spent the night at each other's houses often and I would go to her Saturday morning tennis practices. I had never known anyone who could play tennis so I remember sitting there, desperately wishing I could play as well as her...or play at all for that matter! Ellen's family was the first of our group to get cable TV and HBO and I begged my parents for months until they eventually caved. I also remember crying with Ellen when her beloved sheepdog Chauncey died and her father buried him under a bush in the yard.

It was also during sleepover at Ellen's that I learned the cruel truth about hasenpfeffer:) Her mom took all of us kids down to Eastern Market in Detroit with her mom to buy spring flowers and fresh produce. I remember being so excited for Ellen when her mom stopped at one stand and told her to choose a rabbit. I had always wanted a pet bunny so I couldn't wait to help Ellen care for hers! I was shocked when we returned to the booth at the end of the day [presumably to pick up Ellen's new pet], only to have the woman hand over a small package wrapped in white deli paper. I asked when we were going to get the rabbit and Ellen replied, "This is it. My mom's cooking hasenpfeffer for dinner tonight." I asked, "What is hasenpfeffer??" She replied, "Rabbit stew." WTF?! No way in hell was I eating dinner at their house that night!

Ellen, I don't know how we ever lost touch but I wish you were here so I could tell you how much I cherished your friendship and the good times we shared. I'm sorry the wedding day you were planning never came and that you were taken from us way too soon. You are truly missed and forever loved.



This photo was taken in one of those old photo booths (circa 1983?) in Kresge's at the above-mentioned mall that is now, as of two weeks ago, a pile of rubble. Ellen is the beautiful girl on the left and I'm the one sporting the Farrah Fawcett coiff on the right:)

One Year...

One year has passed since I saw my big brother.

One year ago today, he died due to the neglegence of a hospital that was more concerned with their policies than the care of a human being.

One year ago today my brother had outpatient surgery and stopped breathing in the car on the way home.

One year ago, my two nieces had to rush their dad back to the hospital, only to be told that they had to wait for an ambulance to bring him into the ER.

Seriously.

One year ago, my nieces and a security guard had to perform CPR until EMS arrived because the doctors and nurses had to follow hospital protocol. They reluctantly watched as my brother died in the parking lot.

One year ago, I lost my only brother. My friend.

Life can be such a kick in the ass sometimes.






I miss you, Richie. Give Mom and Dad a hug for me, k? ♥

Moments

There are many moments in my life that I hold dear and there are other moments that I consider to be utterly sacred. The dear moments are those that are etched into my heart. Like the times when someone went out of their way to do something special for me. Times when I laughed so hard I cried. Times that made me stand back and say, "Wow, that was amazing."

One of those such moments was my 17th birthday. I don't know why that day popped into my head today since my birthday's not until October, but it did.

It was an ordinary day and I was a senior in high school. I can't remember the specifics of the morning except the fact that my parents appeared to have forgotten that it was my birthday. I sat at the kitchen table in awe. How in the heck could my own parents forget my freakin' birthday?! I hopped into my '81 Cutlass Supreme and drove the mile to school in a huff.

When I got to school, I was greeted with birthday wishes from my closest friends in the hall. My mood brightened a bit. Until.....I was late for first hour and received the first (and only) detention of my high school career. To say that I was ticked off would be an understatement.

The school day for seniors ended sometime around 1:30 and I couldn't wait to get out of there. Knowing me and my hot temper, I'm sure I was planning to give my parents a piece of my mind when I got home. All of that was forgotten the second I opened my car door. Tucked lovingly into one of the openings in my steering wheel was a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a small, clear ornament that held a tiny teddy bear inside.

I can't tell you what kind of flowers they were -most likely carnations since they were my favorite - but I still have the little teddy bear in the plastic ornament. I only wish I could find the card that was attached because I remember it saying something like, "How could we ever forget our baby's birthday?" (No matter my age, I will always be "the baby" of the family.)

That was my mom. All day long I had felt like Samantha Baker in Sixteen Candles...except my mom really didn't forget my birthday. She had probably been planning this for days and I know it had to kill her not to sing Happy Birthday to me the moment I woke up.

Gosh, I miss hearing mom sing to me on my birthday.